Tears to Cheers
On February 26, 1982 Doug and Del Bannerman lost their two sons in a car accident. Johnnie was only twenty-one years old and Pat, even younger, was nineteen. A year prior, Doug Bannerman’s parents also passed away.
Just about eight months later, the Bannermans, still trying to cope with their devastating losses, met with close relatives, Gertie and Everett Clark for Thanksgiving. The Clark’s had some understanding of their pain because eight years prior, their ten year old son, Darren, died of an asthma attack.
All agreed if they found Thanksgiving hard, Christmas was going to be close to impossible. Rather than succumb to the feeling of an empty house, they decided to organize a huge Christmas dinner and to invite the entire community. It was decided they would not exchange Christmas gifts, but instead, save their money for the dinner.
They hung posters around the community, including the Salvation Army Drop In Centre. Everyone was welcome, no matter how they were dressed. That first meal was held at the First Baptist Church and 350 people came for dinner. For ten years the tradition continued, until eventually, in 1992, the dinner was moved to the Mustard Seed.
Del Bannerman, who is now the Development Officer for the Mustard Seed, says it is still a family tradition and is now run under the leadership of Paula Bannerman, Del Bannerman’s daughter. Del Bannerman says, “Christmas is about the birth of Jesus. It is a very sacred time for us. What I receive is the pleasure of giving to someone who needs. Whether they need a meal, or a gift, or a song…we have given the gift of love and that is a mighty good feeling.”
Bannerman says that “Christmas means sadness,” at a homeless shelter. Many people are overcome by feelings of depression for a number of different reasons. For example, some guests of the Mustard Seed may have lost the support of their families. Some have mental illnesses that will cause them to behave in ways their families do not understand. Addicts will quite often treat their families without regard until they hit bottom and start their recovery.
Bannerman says, “There is somewhat of a myth that people being helped at a shelter, don’t appreciate it and I absolutely do not agree with that. Over the years many have come back to me and said that the Christmas day dinner changed their life, because they understood what the community did for them.” She explains Seed guests who come for Christmas, understand the effort that went into planning the meal. They are thankful for the gift they receive and they are thankful somebody took time out of Christmas day to help them.
What is a typical Christmas dinner like at the Mustard Seed? The Bannerman-Clark Dinner is from noon until 6:00 pm and guests are invited to stay for the whole afternoon. The Seed has entertainment to help them take their minds off of their situation for a little while. Also, Bannerman says, “They can eat as much as they want to on Christmas Day, just like we all do in our own homes. They can have candies and oranges to take away with them; they can have as many desserts as they want. There is a present for them. It is an opportunity to just celebrate. We even do take out. If somebody’s family is at home we will send meals with them.”
One Christmas story Bannerman remembers with fondness is about a man who was on parole and living at The Seed.
She says he would become really tense, open a present The Seed had purchased for him and then go and look out of the window. Then he would go and open another gift and then return to the window to try and relax once again. After the last gift, he went and stood in front of the window for a long time. She could see him crying and went over to ask him if he was ok and, with tears streaming down his face, he told her, “I have never had a present of any kind in my life before - ever.”
Bannerman says, “What that did for me is, I realized, we just don’t get it - how some people have lived. Many people just don’t understand that some people have just never had a birthday present, never mind a Christmas present. Some people have never had celebrations.”
She goes on to say, “The best gift you can give somebody is just looking them in the eye and recognizing them as a human being and not having a judgement on them, for me that was one of my biggest lessons, when I first started to get involved.”
Paula Bannerman, Del’s daughter, agrees that participating in the Bannerman-Clark dinner every year has helped her family “overcome huge grief.” Paula coordinates the volunteers for Christmas dinner at The Seed and says many volunteers who are also struggling through the Christmas season find their solace through helping others. She says, “People who are going through a divorce will call and I will tell them I have a two hour opening and they’ll say, ‘No, you don’t understand - I need to be there the whole eight hours, the kids will be with their Dad.’”
Del and Paula say they will find something for them to do all day. Del Bannerman says, “Because they absolutely must be here; because that will help them rise above themselves and their own trouble. They may still go home and have a good cry but as they look back on it they’ll say, ‘well at least I did something that day that may be my loved one would have been happy with.’”
